Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone...

Chico the Wonder Dog wishes everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! Even from Doggie Heaven, I can see the people of this Nation are much better off than eighty percent of the rest of the world!

Thank God for a wonderful Country, the United States of America! And thank God for the young men and women who fight and die to keep you safe!

Please protect the Constitution of your Nation so you will stay free to enjoy the blessings of God and of the United States.

Arf...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What's It Like?...

I was sniffing around Doggie Heaven the other day and a minor Angel came over to me and asked,"What's it like being a human?" I grinned a condescending grin at him and said,"In the first place, I'm not a human and, in the second place, since you are an Angel-in-training, I'm not sure I'm the one you should be talking to." (Dogs can talk in Doggie Heaven, not like on Earth where we had to 'look at' people to get our messages across)

The Angel-in-training looked a question mark at me and asked,"If you're not a human, what are you?"

I explained to him that I was a Dog, the species that owns Humans on Earth. (I started to tell him the ownership was shared by cats, gold fish, tweety birds, horses and cockroaches but that might be a bit much for him to absorb; there is only so much room in his white sheet)

I asked him how long he had been here and he assured me he didn't know since there is no time as such in Doggie or any other Heaven; we're just here.

I thought about the question and realized I had never pondered much on what it is like to be a human. I knew their thought process is a bit jumbled and they have some really weird ideas about what is important and what is not.

For instance, when I was on Earth as Chico the Wonder Dog, I was treated as someone very special and the humans I owned usually planned their entire lives around what was convenient for me. At that time, I thought it was great.

Humans are literally inscrutable. This isn't something they plan or work at; they just are. Too bad, in a way.

Humans buy things because they WANT them, not because they NEED them

My people saw a 2000 Lincoln LS in 2001 and WANTED it. They had a perfectly good '97 Ford Crown Vic and it ran very well, got excellent gas mileage, looked good and had only 82,000 miles on it but they only NEEDED it.

Humans like people because they are LIKEABLE, not because they are QUALIFIED.

Dogs don't like some people and they growl at them and, if the people are bad enough, the dogs bite them. Dogs are honest. To a dog, a bad person is bad and they won't ever give them the time of day.(so to speak)

People, on the other hand, like bad people if the bad people are likable. They don't like good people if the good people aren't likable. Their last presidential election showed a wonderful example of that.

The democratic nominee, the man who eventually won the election, is a bad man but he is attractive, a good speaker and very LIKEABLE. He won.

Senator McCain, on the other hand, is a very good and honorable man but he isn't very good looking; he seems awkward because his arms were damaged while he was a prisoner of war when he was defending our country and he cannot raise them over his head. He was much the better man but he lost because he was UNLIKEABLE.

A former super power nation, the USSR, was a communist (socialist) country, having overthrown a czarist monarchy. The socialist/communist regime lasted until a few years after@1987 when the then president (the best president in history) Ronald Reagan advised the Soviet Premier, General Secretary Gorbachev, to "tear down that wall," a wall that separated Berlin into East Berlin, occupied by the USSR, and West Berlin, occupied by the US and our allies.

In 1991, after Gorbachev had implemented glasnost and perestroika (Can't we all just get along) for the USSR, the socialistic Republics ceased to exist and Russia had to admit socialism/communism does not work.

My point here is; Although the new president-elect desires a socialistic nation, it is not because he thinks we NEED it but, in reality, it's because he WANTS it.

I began to more closely ponder the question asked me and decided that, if I attempted to answer completely and absolutely, it might take more time than there is in eternity so I did what I needed to; I told the angel-in-training to go and ask his mother. I had heard that many times when I was flesh and blood so I'm certain it was an appropriate response.

Any more questions? I thought not. If, in the future, you have a need for any complete and absolute answers about anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask Chico the Wonder Dog. That's what I'm here for.

Arf...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Love Apple...

The father-in-law of a friend of mine was a lover of apples and one day we were discussing apples and the term,'Love Apple,' came up. I really liked the term (not knowing that a love apple was really a tomato) so I decided to have my friend write a song about it. I called it:

Love Apple

Winesap and Johnnie and Red Roman Beauty,
These fruits are so sweet and so firm and so round-
You must bend down the limb, pick them off while their growing
Or they'll shrivel and die and fall off on the ground.

The Earth is their Father , the tree is their Mother,
The limbs get their life from the rain and the sun
And give birth to the leaves and the buds and the blossoms
And love apples grow when the cycle is done.

When they're tender and tasty and they’re just right for plucking,
If you gently caress them `and you pick them with care-
They will nourish and fill you and their juice will enrich you,
But if the blossoms are crushed all the tree will be bare.

You must tend to the roots where the life blood is starting,
To enrichen the soil, you must spread it around,
Because there's nothing as sad as an aging love apple
That has withered and died and fallen off on the ground.

Arf...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Terrorist Packages...

I was perusing ca's blog and came across this missile left there many months ago. In this day and age, I believe it appropriate that it posts again. (in case someone didn't 'get it' the last time.

'From the Mouths of Dogs'...

Chico the Wonder Dog came over to where I was sitting and scratched my leg then walked to the sliding door. It meant he needed to go outside so, naturally, I got up and opened the door for him.

He went outside and immediately began barking and running toward the rear of the house where his lawn is. I stuck my head outside to see what he was barking about just in time so see a large yellow cat run from the yard. Chico the Wonder Dog ran after him until he reached the edge of our property then he stopped. He knew he was not allowed to cross his property line, even to chase a cat.

By then I was outside on the porch and he came up to me and looked at me, "I think he left a suspicious looking package on my lawn." (Chico has to "look at" me because dogs can't talk)
I walked back to the lawn and, sure enough, there was a 'package' on the lawn. I got the shovel and a baggie and cleaned it up before it had a chance to explode or do whatever cat packages do.

Chico the Wonder Dog walked over to the place where the 'package' had been and, after I left, washed down the offending spot.

I went back to the porch and waited for him so I could close the door after he went into the house.

He finally came up onto the porch and walked over to where I was waiting. I looked at him, "I guess we won't have to worry about that cat anymore or any of his friends after he tells them about you chasing him off the place!"

Chico the Wonder Dog eyed me with a look of disdain. "I can't believe you said that," he looked at me. "You should know by now that as long as there are cats alive they will always be a threat. They will never stop sneaking around, leaving terrorist packages on our lawns! When will you people learn that as long as there are cats alive, this danger will exist! That's what cats do; that's what cats are for! There are no 'good' cats. Only a few that put on an act for gullible people like you!"

With a crimson face, I walked back into the house with my tail between my legs. Of course, he was right. How could I have forgotten? If you want to know the real story about cats, ask a dog; they're the ones who know the truth! I'll never make that mistake again!

How about you?


Arf...

Monday, November 10, 2008

Tomorrow Is Another Day...

What a profound statement!
Tomorrow: existing or occurring at a later time...

How much time should one spend contemplating tomorrow? I guess it just depends on how important time is to a person.

I knew a man once who started saving for his future at age 20, working at a job that paid a medium but steady wage.

He saved his money diligently, allowing nothing to interfere with his savings plan.

First he put his savings aside, then he paid his bills and only then, if there was anything left over, entertained himself.

At twenty six he married a woman six years his junior. The woman he chose had a good paying job and was easy to love and together they bought a house and made a home.

They delayed having children until they would determine there was enough fortune to warrant a larger family.

Finally, at age 43, the man checked his savings and found he could pay for a small manufacturing company he had investigated. It made a product for which there was always a great demand and it was now owned by an elderly gentleman who wished to retire.The present owner had purposely kept the business small, with only himself and a single employee, so he would never be overtaxed by running it.

The man could see great potential for improving and growing the company and he and his wife agreed it would be an excellent move to buy the company.

They went to the bank and drew out enough cash for the full amount of the purchase price of the company. The man called the present owner and arranged to meet him the next morning to pay for the company and consummate the deal. The man and his wife were very happy and congratulated each other on their pending accomplishment, the product of years of hard work and saving. They went upstairs to their bedroom to sleep that night with happy anticipation, looking forward to tomorrow.

That night there was a small temblor, a very minor earthquake and a gas line in their kitchen broke and gas quickly filled the lower floor of their house and a spark from a thermostat ignited the gas and caused an explosion and the couple were killed.

Ofttimes the quest is more rewarding than the discovery. They died happy.

So much for tomorrow.

Arf...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

All the Nations and Governments of the World...

JC, I know you must be aware I can tell you are not,"All the Nations and Governments of the World," I followed your link to: "Tell It Like It Is."

But, after perusing your blog, I think I understand what many of your problems are.

First, let me say, I see you are a true, patriotic American, second to none in your love for your country. I can tell that from your subject matter and your responses to the problems posed on your posts. No one could love their Nation more than do you.

And, I see you are very troubled by the present situation in this Nation, the election of a racist, white hating, lying, cheating and deceiving black/white man of little substance of any degree.

I see, also, your loving wife shares your sentiments. I have quickly scanned the entire blog world and determined your wife whom you lovingly refer to as,"Mi Espousa La Donna d'el Nebraska," has no blog of any kind; therefore I conclude she is a very practical and logical person, probably a Scorpio, and she, being married to an Aquarian (I checked your profile)is content to accept your opinions (after a bit of research of her own) as gospel.

I determine you will soon ask my opinion on what, if anything, you should now do about the election of the slug, Senator Barack Obama to the presidency.

Do nothing. It's too late now. Watch to see if the Berg Vs Obama lawsuit is accepted for consideration by the Supreme Court. Don't get your hopes up.

Your one silver lining on this darkest of clouds is, soon you can say,"I Told You So!"

BTW, I hear from a very good Source, it might not matter for long anyhow.

My advice: Put your money under your mattress and be careful for yourselves and don't bother worrying about anyone else.

Please don't thank me! This is what I'm here for!

Arf...

Happy To Be Here...

I am happy to be here. Only I would make myself available to all people, willing and able to answer any and all questions with any pertinence to anything.

I must say, though, there will be things that are so obvious that any moron would know the answer to (the answer of which any moron would know) that I will discount with all due scorn.

I assume some will be offended by my non-answers to those stupid (or should it be,'dumb'?)queries. I hope so. It will serve them as right as can be received.

Welcome to my Blog. I know you will leave smarter than when you got here! Enjoy!

Byebye...